Conspiracy theory

teachthecontroversy
What if anti-vaccination hysteria, GMO disinformation, the idea that turning off your light for an hour does anything, and other woo was in fact a calculated effort on the part of our lizard alien overlords certain corporate interests to distract lefties from agitating around real issues?

Brought to you by Earth Day and people annoying the shit out of me on FB.

Painting progress

molotov

I haven't painted in over a year, but I finished reading a whack of policy so I rewarded myself by working on this gal.

Read more...Collapse )

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*fangirl squee*

red flag over TO
The opening scene of the Orphan Black premiere was shot in the place where I had brunch this morning.

orphan black
I have sat in that booth, you guys!

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*pokes head up*

doomsday
I have been quiet on the intertubes for fun reasons (the awesome and wonderful smhwpf in town, opera with chickenfeet2003 and lemur_catta, drinks with the_axel) rather than reasons of just stress and angst. But now I have to read approximately a gazillion policy documents by yesterday so if I remain quiet for the next little while, that's why.

I have also been drinking more than I should, between the cat stuff and the job stuff and the social stuff, and it's taken a lot out of me. Time to not drink for a bit, I think.

Lest she rise again

screw you
One year tumour-free.*

Gif party in the comments?

* At least, as far as I know. There's a predictable fuck-up in terms of scans and appointments.

Gravydämmerung: LOL wut

bat country
Meet the Honourable Wife-Beater's latest addition to the campaign team: a dude from Trailer Park Boys and Ben Johnson, disgraced Olympic athlete.

He is really courting the stoner vote, isn't he? I'd respect that a bit more if he approved of safe injection sites. Stoners be warned: This guy is not actually on your side. There is one law for most drug users, and another for Ford.

The state of social democracy in Canada

eat your ballot
Tom Mulcair, leader of the federal NDP, voted Liberal in the Quebec election.

Now, granted, politics in Quebec are a complicated proposition that I tend not to analyze beyond shaking my head sadly and slowly, but what the everloving fucknuggets? Yes, the NDP doesn't have candidates in Quebec, but there is Québec solidaire, who seem pretty good, so maybe he could do something other than symbolically castrating himself in front of the entire country. Maybe. I don't know. I'm not a political strategist; I just play one on the internet. But that's cat-trying-to-be-a-bee-and-falling-off-the-couch-level fail.

fail beecat photo beecatcantfly_zps7a7f60af.gif

The silver linings are twofold:

1) I didn't have enough faith in Mulcair in the first place to be disappointed.
2) No matter what I do, politically speaking, it will never be as dumb as this.

Quote of the day

commiebot
Little A.: "I'm going to build a police car that has jaws full of spikes and it will chew up criminals and leave nothing but. One. Bleeding. Arm."

I am so very grateful for people like misslynx and Little A. who come over with Hrithik Roshan DVDs and do robot dances to cheer me up.

Conversion attempt

champagne anarchist
I forgot to tell the story of getting Marinetti to that last vet appointment.

So I called a cab. When I got in, the guy was on the phone figuring out Koran orders. As in he was bulk-ordering Korans but the other guy had sent the wrong amount or something. He had not been sent enough Korans. Anyway, there was a lot of traffic so we started talking. He said he'd been a vet back in Pakistan and was working on getting his license here, but he'd only been here two years and was working as a cab driver in the meantime. I said, "well, welcome to Toronto, good luck, etc."

He said he really liked Toronto. Previously, he'd been living for six years in Scotland and hated it. Apparently all there is to do in Scotland is drink, fight, and curse the English, and there is a pub every 100 metres*. I thought the latter bit sounded pretty good, but then I said, "Oh, I guess you don't drink."

Which was enough to launch him on the most hamfisted attempt to convert me to Islam ever, with my dying cat purring on my lap. It was the worst conversion attempt I've ever encountered. Like, I would have done a better job trying to convert me to Islam. He wasn't even being a dick about it; he just couldn't come up with one argument that made any sense. (Example: He went from being a cell to a fully grown human, isn't that a miracle? I told him that I'm pretty sure that happens all the time. Also, you don't start with the "alcohol is evil" thing. That's like the worst selling point of any religion.)

Anyway, the whole thing was quite good natured and a distraction. I left him with the story of the Prophet Muhammad and the cat, which I think is a better argument for Islam than any of the ones he provided.

He said, "I'm banging my head against a brick wall, aren't I?"

"Yep," I said. "But you distracted me from thinking about how my cat's dying, and I really appreciate that, so thanks. Salaam alaikum."

So that happened.

* Which led to a funny discussion later with the_axel about how I wanted to go to Scotland now. Because it has pubs and castles. He pointed out that it is not all pubs and castles. I told him I was disappointed because I was picturing "castle, castle, pub" all the way down the street and apparently it's not like that.

Be prepared!

gunfight at carnegie hall
I almost hope someone tells me to "just breathe" or "stay positive" today so that I can punch them in the fucking face.

Realization

molotov

If I had a broken pick-up truck, my life would be a country song right now.

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Thanks

too sexy for this icon
The sheer amount of sympathy and kindness from you guys is staggering. I wish I had the spoons to respond to everyone individually, but I don't. Just know that you matter to me and that you are helping immensely.

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Saying goodbye to my best friend

too sexy for this icon
This is, as you might imagine, a heartbreaking entry to write. Which means that I'm going to write it once and post it in several places, and my apologies in advance to anyone who has to read it more than once.

Just over a decade ago, I went to the Humane Society to adopt a cat. Being a crazy cat lady (though, at the time, quite catless), I of course found myself paralyzed with indecision, wanting to adopt all of them. Until an oversized white paw whipped out from somewhere in one of the lower, shadowy, almost hidden cages and swiped my leg, and thus Marinetti declared me his own.

He was, at the time, almost four years old, on a medical waiver because of his deformed eyes and chronic herpes infection, and had been at the Humane Society the longest out of all the cats. He looked like a tough customer. Like most creatures who look terrifyingly badass, Marinetti was, naturally, a sweetheart.

Many of you met him over the years and can attest to the fact that he was the Best Cat. He was loving—often at inconvenient times and in inconvenient places, often aggressively affectionate—gregarious, and smart as hell. He was adventurous, even into his old age. What you may not know is that he was also a sensitive gentleman when he needed to be. During the darkest times of my life, he was my one constant, and my best friend.

Details of how he diedCollapse )

the last picture of Marinetti photo lastpicofmarinetti_zpsd1db00ae.jpg
This is the last picture I took of him, earlier this evening. The fact that he was being sweet to Cocoa here is some indication that he was not himself.

I'm heartbroken. Anguished. There aren't words, really, so I'm not going to try. I've known this was coming for awhile, and that actually makes it somewhat easier, because every second I've had with him has mattered. I know that he had a far better life with me than he would have if we'd never met.

But when I got home from the vet clinic and he didn't meet me at the door I almost broke. I don't know how I'm going to deal with a world that doesn't have him in it. Goodbye, my beloved kitty. I will miss you so much.

marinetti photo marinetti_zpsf68be9c1.jpg
Marinetti
February 5, 1999—April 2, 2014

Fuck

molotov

Marinetti was bleeding from the mouth so I rushed him to the emergency clinic. I'm waiting to hear what the vet says. I'm covered in blood and not optimistic. He didn't seem to be in pain and was purring but quite clingy.

Please keep us in your thoughts.

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Opining on House of Cards

eat your ballot
Approximately a million internet years ago, radiumhead asked for a post about House of Cards, which I said I'd write once I'd finished the second season of the American one. It turns out I have Thoughts! Many Thoughts.

So, for those of you who have somehow missed this weird bit of popular culture, there are two House of Cards TV shows. One is a BBC series from I think the 90s starring Ian Richardson, the other is Netflix's interesting experiment with the binge-watching model, starring Kevin Spacey. They're both based on novels by Michael Dobbs, which I haven't read (anyone? should I bother?) and follow the adventures of the amoral whip of the party in power (Tories in the BBC version, Democrats in the Netflix one, more on that in a bit) who gets passed over for promotion and, in revenge, destroys everyone until he's on top.

When the Netflix series came out, PopeJohn tried to get me to watch it, and I was kind of like, "ummm, don't really like American political dramas," thinking that it would be like The West Wing. This may surprise some of you but I find American politics duller than the politics of practically any other country. It's not like there's a lot of variation in the political discourse of, say, Canadian politics, but it's still a greater scope than is allowed in American politics. Then he told me that the first scene is Kevin Spacey killing a dog and I decided to give it a chance.

(Because I love manipulative amoral protagonists more than cake, okay? Don't judge me. My formative years were in the grimdark 90s and I can't help it.)

I thought the first Netflix series was quite good. PopeJohn then told me that in the BBC one, they kill Thatcher, so I watched it assuming that it would be better. It was. (I mean, are you surprised? I like the non-American versions of most things better than the American versions.)
Spoilers for both series, Hunger Games, and 1984Collapse )

P.S. bcholmes, it is now time for me to start watching Hannibal.

2014 Book Log

motherfucking books
New book log! Let's talk about ALL THE BOOKS.

Fiction

1. The Backward Glass, David Lomax
2. Transition, Iain Banks
3. Surface Detail, Iain M. Banks
4. Light Ahead For the Negro, Edward A. Johnson
5. Ready Player One, Ernest Cline
6. People of the Book: A Decade of Jewish Science Fiction & Fantasy, Rachel Swirsky & Sean Wallace (eds.)
7. The Fault In Our Stars, John Green
8. Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children, Ransom Riggs
9. Crypotonomicon, Neal Stephenson
10. Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe
11. Ragtime, E.L. Doctorow
12. The Big Sleep, Raymond Chandler

Non-Fiction

1. TARDIS Eruditorum Volume 1: William Hartnell, Philip Sandifer
2. TARDIS Eruditorum Volume 2: Patrick Troughton, Philip Sandifer
3. TARDIS Eruditorum Volume 3: Jon Pertwee, Philip Sandifer
4. Eyewitness Travel Guides: Morocco
5. TARDIS Eruditorum Volume 4: Tom Baker and the Hinchcliffe Years, Philip Sandifer
6. It's Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens, danah boyd
7. Running With Scissors, Augusten Burroughs

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cat teacher
I taught my kids about the Tab key and how to quickly format documents in Word using styles.

It was an interesting experience. I did a poll. Most of them considered themselves proficient in Word. Exactly zero of them had ever had a single lesson about how to use Word. They were just sort of expected to pick it up.

In my day, we had keyboarding classes, not that I ever took any of them. Anyway, it's probably one of the more useful things I've taught lately.

PSA

molotov

Hey guys it's kind of a week/end from hell and I'm not home or near a computer much so if you don't hear from me I'm (probably) not dead and I definitely still love you.

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R.I.P. Oderus

day of the dead
 photo 1511598_10152016273016720_1295264103_n_zps80140377.jpg
The above image is the only rational explanation for the otherwise premature death of Dave Brockie, a.k.a. Oderus Urungus. I'm sure another cause of death will emerge, but this is the correct one. And also sums up why the world is a lesser place in his absence.

Here are some videos to remember him by.


Back when it was metal causing juvenile delinquency and not gangsta rap and Tipper Gore wanted to put warning labels on everything fun, here is GWAR on Joan Rivers talking about censorship.


GWAR covering "Carry On My Wayward Son."


Oderus reading "Goodnight Moon." NSFW.

ETA: jvmatucha has an awesome GWAR story plus more videos, so hop on over there too.

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Profile

molotov
sabotabby
a sudden absence of bees
These being the adventures of a proper schoolmarm, her presumptuous felines, and her horde of young minions.

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